wholesome corn-fed goodness
Phew. They’re finished. Thank God.
Here’s one of the funniest comments I got on the cover letters, in which I ask students to tell me what aspects of their paper they feel particularly confident about and which ones they’re still concerned about:
“I am still concerned with my grammar, my comma usage specifically.”
Well put.
Most of you know about my intense irrational fear of sharks. It all started because of the JAWS poster my neighbor Cecelia had up in her room when I was a little kid. You know, the poster where the unassuming lady is swimming freestyle across the top of the poster and freaky, horrible, terrifying, gigantic JAWS is swimming up from the depths to maul her. Just writing about it makes me shudder. Ever since I saw that poster, I have had an irrational fear of sharks. Even the briefest image of a shark practically sends me into hysterics. And in water, I think there are sharks anywhere. Honest to goodness people, I am still just a little bit afraid that there are sharks in Spirit Lake. Not little sharks, either, but JAWS. It takes serious effort for me to swim freestyle in non-chlorinated water if I can’t touch the bottom.
So tonight I’m sitting here on the couch avoiding my grading, watching the SportsCenter preview to the Yankees Red Sox Game 7 tonight. Because I like baseball and I always always always get sucked into post season baseball. Anyway, I am watching SportCenter and a commercial comes on, and then the next thing I know there is a FUCKING GREAT WHITE SHARK on the TV. And it isn’t that commercial that just flashes a quick shot of a shark, which itself is enogh to cause me to curl up in the fetal position for half an hour or so. It is some sort of show that is talking about the shark. The narrator is saying something about the “15-foot great white shark swimming in the salt pools off the Massachusetts shore.” And it’s still there on the screen. And I can’t see the remote. But I can’t look around because I will see the fucking shark. And if I don’t turn the channel soon, I am going to have a heart attack and die. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So I manage to grope my way around the room until I find the remote and switch to another channel. Then I check the guide to see what the fuck is going on on ESPN. And here it is: ESPN is airing a FOUR HOUR SPECIAL entitled: “Oak Bluffs Monster Shark Tournament.” The content: “Sports, Fishing (2004) From Oak Bluffs, Mass. Special.”
Good God.
…Or at least some of them do. The students, that is.
We were learning about warrants in class. Warrants (for those of you who haven’t either taught First-Year Comp at my esteemed University or read the argument theory of Stephen Toulmin (pronounced TOOL-man) in some other context) are the general rules that hold a claim and its support together.
So, if I said “I love pizza because it is hot and cheesy,” “I love pizza” is my claim and “it is hot and cheesy” is my support. The general rule that holds the claim and support together (the warrant) is this: “I love anything that is hot and cheesy”.
Obviously, this is more complicated when claims and supports are more complicated.
I was working on teaching this concept to my students today, but I was using one of those more complicated arguments, and they were having a hard time. So I decided we needed to back up.
Me: “Okay, let’s try something different. Here’s a claim: ‘English 100 is fun because . . .’”
Student #1: “. . .because [insert my name here] teaches it!”
Me: Excellent!
Students: [amused laughter. They get it now and also presumably think I'm funny for stooping to such (inadvertant) self-promotion. I was expecting something more like "English 100 is fun because we get to watch movies." or "English 100 is fun because it's a small class." But I'll take adoration/flattery/ass-kissing wherever I can get it.]
Me: “So what would the warrant be for this claim and support?”
Student #2: “Any class that [insert my name here] teaches is fun!”
Me: “Exactly. Very good.”
I bet you’ve been wondering what exciting things are keeping me from posting to my blog.
Here’s the best way I can think to describe my week so far:
I have eaten peanut butter sandwiches for lunch five days in a row. On white bread. Ugh.
Bush and Kerry look like matching robots. Did you see them when they came out and shook hands, then, perfectly synchronized, turned and waved to the audience? And they are wearing the exact same outfit. Creepy.
to support my assertion that a certain professor in our department is totally awesome. You know, that professor who teaches Shakespeare, cuts his own hair, rides his bike to work, and signs e-mails “Yours Infinitely,”.
Tonight I was at his house dropping off the exams I had just graded. I found out that he BUILT AN ELEVATOR for his wife so she can access the upper and lower levels of their house despite her difficulty walking. That’s right people. This rather elderly professor actually built a 2.5-story elevator shaft. For a real elevator. The kind you walk into, push a button, then walk out of on a different floor. Furthermore, in order for the elevator to work, he had to build an extra room on the second floor of their home. And it looks beautiful. You would never know that he had done it himself, or even that it is an addition. It fits in perfectly. Apparently he spent all summer up on a 30-foot ladder building it. Tomorrow is the big day when the elevator installers are going to bring the “machinery” for the elevator and set it up.
If this isn’t an example of life-long love and devotion, I’m not sure what is.
1. I ran outside for 20 minutes without stopping. (Notice that I emphasize the “without stopping”. This is a huge accomplishment for me.)
2. Otto is sleeping with his head on my keyboard right now.
3. Will’s office (aka our guest room) is clean!
4. I got to watch most of Nanook of the North. Have you ever seen it? You should.
5. The weather is awesome. Huzzah!
6. I slept in until 7:45. (Sad because of the 2 hours’ worth of work I didn’t get done, but also luxuriously nice.)
Here are a couple of pictures of Otto, known lately in our house as “the p.l.g” (the poor little guy) or “p.l.o” (poor little otto) because he has not gotten nearly enough attention. But he did get to go to devil’s lake on Sunday, where this second picture was taken. Woof.
Here is a picture of my sister on TV. Will and I were watching the Iowa game and saw her, and because of the beauty of Tivo, we were able to rewind, pause, and take this picture. She is the one in the yellow sweatshirt. As you can see if you click on the photo to see a bigger version, the hawkeyes were comfortably ahead of Michigan State. Go hawkeyes!
(in no particular order, because I’m not that organized today…)
1. Delicious eggs cooked by my fabulous husband and delivered to me on the couch so I didn’t even have to get up to eat them. Oh, and did I mention that he cleaned up the kitchen, too?
2. Cute phone messages from inlaws who sing “Happy Birthday” in four-part harmony.
3. NOT WORKING ON MY SYMPOSIUM ANY MORE!!!!!
4. Picnic with Tiff and Josh at devil’s lake, which was absolutely delightful despite the onslaught of a pack of vicious bees. Also, this picnic included homemade apple pie!!!
5. A massage (hooray!!) courtesy of Taryn and Dan.
6. More than 2 liters of beer at the Essen Haus (!).
7. NOT WORKING ON THE SYMPOSIUM ANY MORE!!! (did I already mention that?)
8. New workout clothes courtesy of Tiff and Josh. Now I can be a true runner. I am about to arrive.
9. Sleeping until 9:15 today. ON A MONDAY!! hooray.
10. Relaxing on the couch with Will and Otto, doing nothing in particular. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.
So, yeah. My birthday was pretty excellent. And today has been a surprisingly nice segue back into the fast pace of the semester. So all in all, I must say that being 27 is okay.
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