Archive for August, 2005

To The Patrons of the Howard Temin Lakeshore Trail:

Published by theiowan August 31st, 2005 in Irritating. 1 Comment

Hello! How are you? I’ve noticed that there have been a lot more of you out on the trail this week. I’ve also noticed some confusion among you about the official name of this trail.

To clarify:

  • It is not called the “Howard Temin amble-along-slowly-in-the-middle-of the-path Trail.”
  • It is not called the “Howard Temin let’s-stand-and-chat-while-blocking-everyone-else’s-path Trail.”
  • It is not called the “Howard Temin let-your-small-children-run-50-yards-ahead-of-you-darting-dangerously-close-to-bicyclists Trail.”
  • It is not called the “Howard Temin pedestrians-walk-on-the-left-instead-of-the-more-conventional-right Trail.”
  • It is not called the “Howard Temin enormous-people-walking-four-abreast Trail.”
  • It is not even called the “Howard Temin bicyclists-whiz-past-everyone-with-no-regard-for-the-safety-of-others Trail.”

I am sure that the namers of this trail ruled out these options for good reason. So for the love of Mr. Temin, let’s all exercise a bit of care and use the trail in such a way that we don’t inadvertently cause the death of some poor child or, in my case, bicyclist. Ugh.

Oh, the tricks Mother Nature will play.

Published by theiowan August 29th, 2005 in Random. 1 Comment

This morning as I was working out in the basement I flipped on CNN to see how they were doing down in New Orleans. Blessedly, it seems that the worst case scenario won’t materialize, and while there is widespread damage, it won’t be nearly as bad as CNN was saying it might be.

Here’s the thing I thought was funny, though. Last night (for those of you who were following it), the meteorologists and newscasters were predicting that the storm would keep moving straight northwest in a direct path towards Baton Rouge. So, not surprisingly, CNN sent their number one guy, Anderson Cooper, to Baton Rouge. They sent the second-stringer to New Orleans, the third-stringer to Gulfport, etc.

Well, not to be outdone, Mother Nature unexpectedly veered the hurricane straight north so that it landed a hundred miles east of where CNN had predicted. While this is good news for New Orleans and bad news for Biloxi and Gulfport, it’s also bad news for the rest of us who were subjected all morning to the ridiculously sensational reporting of the wet-behind the ears (literally and figuratively) sixth-stringer whom CNN stationed in Biloxi. And poor Anderson Cooper was left with the unenviable job of making the outskirts of the storm seem exciting in comparison.

HEY, INGRID!!

Published by theiowan August 26th, 2005 in Random. 2 Comments

You should call me!

I’m famous!

Published by theiowan August 26th, 2005 in Iowa. 2 Comments

Well, not really. But the once-a-week newspaper that serves my parents’ lake community did publish a letter to the editor that I wrote.

Background: There is a stretch of lakeshore on my parents’ lake that is undeveloped, and the people who own it want to develop it. The problem is that out in the lake in front of this property there is a stand of bulrushes that is crucial to the ecological health of the lake. Fish spawn there, birds live there, water is naturally filtered there, etc. My aunt has spent the last nearly two years spearheading a campaign to make sure these bulrushes don’t get destroyed in the wake of development.

Two weeks ago, the local newspaper published a letter to the editor attacking my aunt and uncle. The basic message was that my aunt and uncle should “practice what they preach;” the writer suggested that if they cared so much about busrushes, they should rip out their retaining wall, get rid of their docks and boats, and plant bulrushes in front of their house. It was a very nasty letter signed and ostensibly written by a prominent Republican from Des Moines.

As I told lots of people, this guy, let’s call him Mr. Big Fish in a Small Pond, would have gotten an F if he had handed in his letter for a grade in my freshman composition course. Here’s my letter, with the names changed to protect the innocent (mostly me…)

To the Editor:

Big Fish in a Small Pond’s recent letter to the editor suggesting that Steve Grand and others who are working to save the bulrush stand on Big Lake should “practice what they preach” is an unscientific attempt to peddle misinformation.

If Mr. Big Fish had tried to support his argument with evidence, he would have found it difficult to defend. But instead of turning to the established work of botanists, limnologists, and ecologists, Mr. Big Fish resorted to a personal attack on Mr. Grand. This tactic is not particularly original; for millennia, philosophers have termed it the ad hominem (Latin for “against the person”) attack and have exposed it as illogical and unconvincing.

An ad hominem attack usually works like this: The attacker brings up irrelevant information about the character, circumstances, or actions of a particular person in an attempt to divert attention from the valid argument that person is making. In this case, Mr. Big Fish claims that because the Grands do not have bulrushes growing on their own lakefront property, they are hypocrites and we should be suspicious of everything they say. Mr. Big Fish’s personal attack is an attempt to divert attention from the strong scientifically-based argument (outlined in numerous letters to this newspaper) for the preservation of the bulrushes.

There are two problems with Mr. Big Fish’s argument. First, he does not recognize that the Grands’ own personal circumstances and actions have no bearing on the established research supporting their argument. For example, even if the Surgeon General were spotted smoking a cigarette, it would not contradict the reasoning behind the Surgeon General’s warning against smoking. Likewise, the lack of bulrushes on the Grands’ property does not contradict the Grands’ commitment to environmental issues. If Mr. Big Fish had contacted the Grands to learn more about their property, he would have discovered that the “man-made lakeshore wall” to which he refers was installed by the previous owner of the Grands’ home in order to prevent environmentally dangerous lakeshore erosion caused by high water levels.

There is a second, equally important problem with Mr. Big Fish’s argument. The Grands cannot feasibly “plant bulrushes on their own property” as he suggests. Even within a single lake, all shoreline habitats do not support the same aquatic ecosystems, and bulrushes simply will not grow in the habitat on the southeast shore of Big Lake where the Grands own their property. A quick visit to the USDA Forest Service’s website (www.fs.fed.us), would have shown Mr. Big Fish that bulrushes need to grow in wetland habitats. Because the contested property is in a shallow, sandy section of the lake and surrounded by wetlands, it is prime habitat for a large bulrush stand. The lakeshore near the Grand residence is substantially deeper, muddier, and rockier than the east shore of East Bay and would make it nearly impossible for bulrushes to survive.

The bottom line is that Mr. Big Fish’s ad hominem attack is irrelevant and inaccurate. I hope that the board of supervisors and the readers of this newspaper see it for what it is: smoke and mirrors designed to divert attention from the very real environmental threat that the proposed subdivision represents.

Take that and put it in your pipe, Mr. (Not Actually All That) Big Fish!

Not a lot of learning going on lately…

Published by theiowan August 25th, 2005 in What I Learned Today. 1 Comment

Until yesterday. Yesterday I was in the library diligently working for close to seven hours. Yay!

(It may sound funny to hear “yay!” and “seven hours in the library” in the same breath, but remember, people, I can’t get finished with this PhD and become a Real Person until I finish this *#!@!*#! dissertation.)

I did write or re-write (okay, a couple of times I just cut and pasted) close to 14 pages of my chapter during those seven hours, which I must say makes me feel pretty proud of myself. But the most important thing I learned was this:

The sixth floor of the library is kind of creepy at 9:00 pm in the summer when no one else is there. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that it is extremely creepy. I kept finding myself looking over my shoulder, and I haven’t even watched any slasher and/or shark-based movies lately (and if you think that it’s ridiculous for me to be scared of sharks in the library, you probably haven’t read this post.) Ugh.

Tonight, I’m going to leave the library at 7:00.

There is Nothing Wrong with the Car…

Published by theiowan August 25th, 2005 in Irritating. 1 Comment

Or is there?

The guys at the auto shop just don’t know. Even though we couldn’t jump it using Tim’s car, even though the tow-truck guy couldn’t jump it, it started right up when the guys at the shop tried to figure out what was wrong with it.

Here’s how our conversation went when we picked up the car yesterday afternoon:

————————-

Mechanic: “Yeah, it started right up for us.”
Will and/or Andrea: “What do you think is wrong with it then?”
M: “Well, it could be nothing at all.”
W/A: “Excellent.”
M: “Or it could be that your starter is going.”
W/A: “Hmm.”
M: “Or worse.”
W/A: “Hmm.”
M: “It’s actually a lot worse when we can’t find anything wrong with it.”
W/A: “Hmm.”
M: “Because who knows if you’ll start it up here and then get out to the mall and have it die again.”
W/A: “Yeah.”
M: “But just let us know.”
W/A: “Okay.”
M: “Good luck.”

——————————
It was pretty disconcerting, really. I guess we’ll just see what happens. . . .

Back to the “Real World”…

Published by theiowan August 23rd, 2005 in Iowa. 3 Comments

I’ve been told by plenty of people that my “real world” isn’t really the real world, and I’m sure they’re right. But I have to say that right now, after spending two weeks at the paradise that is my parents’ lake home, my version of the real world is seeming fairly harsh. For example, let’s do a little bit of comparison:

An average day last week in paradise/Iowa:
8:00 am: wake up.
8:15 am: go downstairs where either my mom is baking chocolate chip scones or my dad is frying bacon. or both. drink a cappuccino that mom has made. alternatively, go to my aunt Gretchen’s or my aunt Carol’s for coffee and/or breakfast. in either case, sit, chat, and perhaps knit.
10:00 am: if the wind is right, rig the sailboat. otherwise, go skiing.
1:00 pm: come in off the lake for lunch of delicious leftovers from last night’s feast (see below for more details).
1:30 pm: bask in the sun on the lakeside deck, drink cold beverage, and read a book.
3:00 pm: go back out on sailboat/motorboat/waverunner.
5:00 pm: come in from boat. have a beer or glass or wine (or AMAZING gin and tonics when Sandy is around) and some munchies. help with dinner preparation.
8:00 pm: eat massive dinner that always includes meat, bread, salad, and always always always dessert. some examples: Will’s famous schnitzel (prepared for 20 people!), delicious parmesan crusted chicken, roast beef, sirloin steak. plus corn on the cob, broccoli cheese and rice (my favorite!) tomato salad, cheesy potatoes, etc. For desserts: Nancy’s amazing fluffy butterscotch dessert, Gretchen’s Colorado peach cobbler, mom’s snickers pie, etc. etc. etc.
9:00 pm: go back out on motorboat for star cruise.
10:00 pm: play a few hands of cards and/or watch a movie.
11:00 pm: go to bed.
repeat.

Now add to the above schedule the fact that there were dozens of excellent people around the entire time, including:

  • Of course, my excellent parents and aunties Nancy, Carol, and Gretchen who are, thankfully, always at the lake.
  • My sister Ing and (for a bit of the time) her fiance Ben who just this weekend moved to Houston. Ben’s parents were also there for several days, and during that time Ben’s dad caught us some delicious perch (sadly, he did not catch us a delicious bass.)
  • Nate, Sandy, and Lauren, our excellent friends from San Diego. Sandy is the keeper of the aforementioned AMAZING gin and tonic recipe. She also gave me a sweet sweatshirt from Shoppers Supply, the local hardware store.
  • My cousins Tim and Luke, the coolest 16-year-old boys I know.
  • My cousin Hunter, who is one of my best and oldest friends and whose current habitation in Paris means I hardly ever get to see him.
  • My aunt Jan and her family, including the hijinks-filled four-year old Henry and the most-adorable-little-girl-ever, aka Anika (or Annika? sorry, I can’t remember).
  • My auntie Jean from Chicago, who sadly did not bring along her canine friends.
  • Mom and Dad’s friends the Rowleses, who have a cabin up the beach.
  • Some of our North Dakota cousins who were passing through.
  • probably some others, too, whom I’m just not thinking of right now.

Many of the nights we had more than 20 people for dinner. It was awesome.

Now, for the shocking return to the real world. Compare all of this, for example, with

Yesterday’s schedule:

6:30 am: wake up.
6:31 am: go back to sleep.
7:10 am: wake up.
7:11 am: go back to sleep.
7:50 am: wake up.
7:51 am: remain awake, but also remain in bed.
8:00 am: get out of bed.
8:15 am: do some dishes, make some coffee, eat peanut butter toast. pack up crap for day at the office.
9:30 am: leave for office.
9:50 am: begin moving out of one office and into the other.
12:00 noon: take a break for lunch.
12:15 pm: continue sorting through four years’ worth of crap in file folders, placing it in new file folders, and placing file folders in filing cabinet.
2:30 pm: (very fun) meeting with my (very excellent) boss.
3:30 pm: continue organizing office crap.
4:00 pm: another impromptu meeting with boss about something that has come up.
5:00 pm: get picked up by Will to go home by way of Staples, Home Depot, and Cub foods.
6:00 pm: exit Cub foods to find that car won’t start. Call Trusty Tim.
6:40 pm: discover that car can’t be jump-started. Call AAA. Get Tim to drive me home with groceries so they don’t go bad. Leave Will at Cub.
7:30 pm: go back to Cub to pick up Will, who is sending the car off with a tow truck.
8:15 pm: FINALLY get to eat the delicious BLT I have been thinking about all day.
8:30 pm: (here is where the day got much better) Watch TV and knit with Taryn.

The contrast is clear. And while I don’t mind working in the office, going to meetings, and shopping, all day yesterday I kept thinking “DAMN! I wish I were back at the lake!” Grad student life definitely does not qualify as “real life.” But being at the lake is out of this world.

PS: I’ll let you know about the car.

About

You are currently browsing the Once an Iowan, Always an Iowan weblog archives for the month August, 2005.

Longer entries are truncated. Click the headline of an entry to read it in its entirety.

Latest

RSS

Archives

Categories