Once an Iowan, Always an Iowan

I had a batch of exams to grade for my regular Shakespeare gig this weekend. I don’t know how many semesters I have graded for this course, but this exam was undoubtedly the most awesome one ever, due in no small part to one of the essay question options it offered. The students were supposed to discuss the moral and material universes of three of Shakespeare’s great tragic plays (choosing from Lear, Othello, Macbeth, or Antony and Cleopatra) and to say which one they would most like to live in. Only about a third of the exams I read answered this particular question, but they did not disappoint. I was in a hurry and didn’t take time to write down all of the hilarious answers, but here are the very best:

About Macbeth: “A universe based on the words of three crazy witches is not one I would wish to inhabit.” Fair enough.

One student (who clearly hadn’t read A&C) was trying to explain why Othello’s world was more appealing than Macbeth’s or Lear’s, and had to qualify thus: “Though Othello, the play, is concentrated around hate and jealousy, these are human characteristics that are identifiable to me.” Okaaaaaaaaaay. Remind me not to slight you when you’re looking to be my next assistant.

Of course, most people wanted to cozy up with Cleopatra, for obvious reasons: “Every day in Egypt is a party filled with sex, drinking, and music.” Kind of like a certain big ten campus I know of…

Of course, as another student pointed out, even this land of hedonism has its problems: “The multiple wars of the Mediterranean would also be a drawback, however the balanced lifestyle [of A&C] seems much more appealing than Lear and Macbeth.”

Finally, I offer you three recent additions to the english lexicon. I invite you to define them in the comments. Extra bonus points for using all three in a single sentence:

• ominousity
• bestrought
• prescense

[Disclaimer for those new to this blog: Please don't read this as "I think my students are so so dumb." I ascribe any silliness to the in-class exam pressure-cooker and not to the students' intellects; thus I intend posts like these to be taken along the lines of "those cute kids, the things they say!" I have said more about this here. Other earlier installments here and here.]

I have caught Thomas’ and Will’s cold. I had to take a break earlier today to drive home, take a shower to loosen up all the mucous in my sinuses, use my neti pot, and take a 30-minute catnap. I felt somewhat better afterwards, but honestly this is not my idea of what today was supposed to look like.

In other news, I have now “finished” another chapter. But by finished I only mean “fixed most of the most horrifying problems with it.” I can tell that I’m going to get totally hammered on this one, but it’s the earliest thing I wrote and I just haven’t had time to come back to it and really fix it up. Alas.

Now it’s onward to the two chapters that are mostly finished but still have some issues I need to address before turning this beast in.

But first I need to go and find some chicken noodle soup.

I am making a (3.5-page) contribution to my field of study. Or if I’m not, at least I’m good at writing BS. And I’ve gotten several other major tasks on my to-do list for this chapter taken care of. Huzzah! Nothing like fear of humiliation to get the creative juices flowing.

Now off to a quick dinner with my cute hubby and then back to my cage for the grueling task of a major overhaul of a disastrous section of one of my other chapters.

Stay tuned…

Most of you know that I am turning in my dissertation to my committee on Monday. Alas, this does not mean I will be finished with my dissertation on Monday. Monday is simply the beginning of the last stage of institutionalized hazing and humiliation I must go through to earn a PhD.

I thought it might be fun to live-blog the next three days or so, so all of you out there can alternately suffer with me and cheer me on.

I have just spent the past half-hour reorganizing my cage study carrel, because I kept losing the particular 30-page partial-draft I was trying to work on in the midst of all the other 30-page partial drafts languishing in my backpack. So now the desk and first shelves of my carrel look like this:

(Photo was taken with my phone. I would love to show the whole thing, but this was with my head hitting the back wall of the carrel. No more room in here…)

Notice the highly organized document trays, one for each chapter. Now the different parts of each chapter reside in folders, with handy labels on them letting me know which draft, with whose comments, and which parts have or have not been revised. Much better. If I had done this yesterday I probably wouldn’t have made it all the way to the library last night without the draft I was planning to work on. Alas.

Notice also the coffee on the left-hand side of the photo. For the past week I have been drinking so much coffee that I may need several weeks of detox when this is all over. Last night I was still drinking coffee at 11:30 and was dismayed to discover that the coffee stand in the union was no longer selling coffee at 11:45. I definitely could have used that last cup. Nevertheless I fell soundly asleep by 1:00 am.

Okay. That’s all for now. In the next few hours I am going to re-write the “contribution” section of my intro, so after that I’ll be able to tell all of you how my work is going to change the face of literary studies.

Onward!

(Oh, and for those of you who were wondering, the kitchen is done except for a few cosmetic touches. And it is too awesome for words. But I haven’t had time to take pictures and post yet. Mostly because I’ve been spending more time at the library than at home. But I will post soon. Maybe on Tuesday.)